In a Weird One's Mind - A Story About How It Is To Be A Weird Ones.
Have you always felt different? Are you thinking differently than most people? Are you having trouble fitting into the "normal"? Have you ever had a desire to "save the world"?
If so, this is a blog post for you. I will share a part of my story that will give you some clarity and make you proud to be a Weird One—honored that you are weird enough to stay away from the "normal" to be more of yourself.
LIKE ALL WEIRD ONES, I AM ALWAYS SEEKING THE MEANS TO UNDERSTAND
"Throughout my childhood and youth, I developed my awareness, stretching, and exploring the boundaries of my worlds. I learned to educate my inner self through observing my outer life, and I become an observer and student of my own life."
At age 3, I remember looking up at the stars and wondering why grownups didn't understand. I have been searching for answers ever since. At first, this was my natural curiosity seeking a means to understand why adults behaved as they do. But gradually, I learned to become aware of the things happening in my world on an associative level. I not only gained a more profound knowledge of the event itself but was able to see why it had happened and assess the damage or benefit. From this new cause-and-effect perspective, I began experimenting with changing my circumstances.
WITHOUT ANY WEIRD ROLE MODEL, I BECOME A STUDENT OF MY LIFE
By the time I was about ten, I had learned to protect myself from some difficulties I had encountered by taking refuge in my inner world. This is not to say that I created an artificial fantasy world in my mind. Instead, I began to understand that who I am on the inside — who I am as a soul — is considerably more than my outer world's experiences. When my external world's circumstances became difficult, I learned to focus inward and re-direct my thoughts from the security and wholeness of my soul essence. It not only allowed me to feel freedom and happiness, regardless of the events unfolding around me, but it also gave me the ability to become an observer and student of my own life.
Throughout my childhood and youth, I continued to develop my awareness, stretching and exploring the boundaries of my world. I learned to educate my inner self through the observation of my outer life. As I experienced things, pleasant or unpleasant, I would create reminders in my inner world about the causes and effects of those events. Often before I went to sleep at night, I would picture my day, reflecting on what had happened, my feelings about everything that had occurred, and the impact the events of my day had on me and others. I also learned to take mental journeys to familiar places—a part of my house or a favorite stone or flower in the garden—to see the site again from this new perspective and learn what I might have missed with my outer-world eyes.
A WEIRD ONE ALWAYS ASKING WHY, WHAT, AND HOW
The result of these childhood behaviors, which seemed completely natural and logical to me, was that I became very analytical. I could not just walk through life without asking "why, what, and how" on the inside. And I wondered why there were so few people who understood me! It never occurred to me that the ongoing work I did to increase my consciousness was something that most people never do. I saw it as a necessary and natural part of life and always sought to integrate it into my day-to-day experience. But since I thought this was just what everyone did, I saw no need to discuss or share the experience with anyone else.
DISCOVERING SPIRITUALITY CAN BE A DISAPPOINTMENT FOR A WEIRD ONE
My questioning and discovery of higher spiritual levels continued as an adult. I began practicing meditation, took some channeling classes, became a Reiki Master, and went to an evolutionary training institute. I had a lot of spiritual experiences without really knowing this as "spiritual work." And yet, I never succeeded in fitting into a particular spiritual community, although I tried very hard. I was always pulled back into my day-to-day personal practice of studying, experimentation, and research in my field of knowledge.
I was not particularly drawn to the New Age community, not because I couldn't relate to their ideas, but mainly because I often felt their work lacked grounding in the physical realities of life. Many of them always lacked the money to live their real purpose, so they postponed their projects to future manifestation. I witnessed much addictive behavior to both internal and material things in these people.
THE WEIRD ONES UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF THE EXTERNAL WORLD
A basic but essential question was growing inside me. If higher energy and spirituality are what these "enlightened" people are talking about—shouldn't this be a means to create satisfaction in the material world as well as in the internal one? Isn't the external world worthy of as much focus, improvement, and honor as the inner world, since, in reality, they are all the same anyway? Prioritizing one over the other seems to lead us away from our ultimate freedom. Instead, it seemed to call for cooperation between the internal world, our thoughts and feelings, the external world of our physical surroundings, our bodies, and all of my matter.
A WEIRD ONE OFTEN RECEIVES INFORMATION IN STRANGE WAYS
Knowledge and information have always come to me, sometimes in a very mystical and illogical way. However, by accepting and trusting my feelings of knowing and not insisting on a logical explanation for everything, my inklings became my guide and have subsequently created my life. Although I have been criticized and questioned for my thoughts and actions, and at times have doubted myself, I am triumphant whenever I trust in my process of knowing. On the other hand, when I try to mold my thoughts or actions into an old paradigm or belief system, I fail immediately.
MOST WEIRD ONES ARE LOOKING FOR THE CONNECTION BETWEEN SPIRITUALITY AND SCIENCE
I wanted to know more about why and how this information came to me. I wanted to become ever more involved in understanding and participating in the mystery of life and knowing how all this unseen but powerful energy worked. I began to study the connection between spirituality and science. I wanted passionately to find scientific answers for all the mysterious and unexplained things I had experienced and the beautiful changes that had occurred in my life. Moreover, I wanted to integrate science with spirituality, and spirituality with our physical world. In time, I gained a crucial insight that Buddha and Einstein wanted the same thing—to find the meaning of life. Although their lives, methods, and creations differed, the underlying search was the same. This understanding was liberating for me in my quest for life's meaning. I learned I didn't always have to choose one way over another—I could have it all!
THE WEIRD ONES CREATE THEIR SPACE FOR NEW BEGINNINGS
As I applied my cause-and-effect process to every action and aspect of my life, I was amazed at the changes that occurred professionally and personally. I could clear my life of material things, people, and circumstances that no longer served my higher evolution. I made purposeful changes to create space for freedom and for new things to happen. I didn't know what these "things" were, but as I opened space for them, fresh energy emerged, and I reached new levels of consciousness. This state of mind created new experiences and success in my personal and professional life.
THE WEIRD ONES QUICK SHIFT IN THEIR MOOD IS LIKE GETTING AN ENERGETIC HANGOVER
It took a little while to learn how to balance this influx of higher energy. At first, I felt the effects of an "energy hangover," which could send me crashing back into the old paradigm. And at the same time, my tolerance for living within the old paradigm diminished sharply every day. Eventually, I no longer had a choice about living traditionally. I had brought all of myself into a new lifestyle where the passion for creation, new challenges, and beginnings were waiting.
AS A WEIRD ONE, YOU LEARN HOW TO ENERGIZE YOUR INTENTIONS
Continuing my cause-and-effect experimentation from within this new higher energy paradigm, I began to actively create each day, shaping and changing my reality to more effectively live my passion. I learned to energize my intentions and affirmations so that I would receive what I asked for. I began to expand my energy into an authoritative source for every action I performed. I worked with shifting my body shape through a combination of physical and mental work.
Similarly, I witnessed the result of physical and mental healing in clients through my Reiki and coaching practice. I gradually came to a place where meditation became unnecessary because I lived in a constant state of connection between the left and right sides of the brain. I accessed the full range of communicative energies, including telepathic communication, channeling, animal messages, and receiving information from both the past and the future.
THE WEIRD ONES ARE WORKING WITH HIGHER ENERGY, SPIRITUALITY, AND THE LOGICAL MIND
During this period of learning, experimentation, and assimilation, I also had the opportunity to live within a vacuum of despair for a brief time. Walking through this experience brought me to new levels of consciousness. Also, this experience helped me to understand the process of transformation better.
I became skillful in working with higher energy, spirituality, and the logical mind. I learned how to eliminate negative feelings in a snap by becoming aware of their existence. I became acutely aware of the difference in energy flow between living from a place of controlling everything and living from a place of surrender and faith in the process. In doing so, I had to face my fears that I could lose control and contact with all earthly things.
I was afraid that the spiritual focus might be too dull or calm for an active, goal-oriented person like me. I didn't want to become a hermit alone on the mountaintop without friends, business, money, etc. Reconciling this belief delayed my process, but it was a crucial step in opening me to the knowledge about the possibility that "all" exists in everything around us.
THE WEIRD ONES HAVE AN UNIQUE ABILITY TO ACCESS UNKNOWN INFORMATION
I explored the new paradigm and its higher energies without knowing why or how it worked. I just knew it did. Aurelius Augustinus seemed to have a similar experience when he wrote, "What is time? If nobody asks me, I know. If I want to explain it to somebody who asks, I do not know anymore." I learned to harness the energy of "just knowing—accessing information I had no specific connection with or exposure to.
I frequently received information and insights into areas I had never studied. My intellectual understanding of mathematics, physics, and biochemistry was limited. And yet, knowledge continued to appear. Sometimes, I would be browsing in a library and be drawn to a book that I had never seen before, only to open it and read the same information (often word for word) I had been receiving. Or the book would show me a compelling scientific explanation for something I knew but could not explain.
Eventually, I understood that this was the most significant proof I could ever get that all information already exists within the cosmos. Everything we need for our creation is there; we only have to open up and become a clear channel to receive the information.
THE WEIRD ONES LIVE IN TUNE WITH THE EVOLUTION BUT NEED CONFIRMATION
2003 I received a confirmation of my work with the Lifecompetencies™ when I read Ervin Laszlo's book Science and the Akashic Field. Laszlo states that there are two basic alternatives to get a firm ground from which to start, "one was to start with the stream of one's own conscious experience and see what kind of world one could logically derive from that experience. The other was to gather all the information one can about the world and then see if one can account for one's own experience of that world."
Then I knew that I, through my self-studying and practical research, had gained the knowledge to bring forth the Lifecompetencies™ that would become the "Operating System" for LifeSpider System™.
THE WEIRD ONES ARE PURPOSE-DRIVEN, AND THEIR LIFE IS FULL OF EXCITING SURPRISES
Today I have arrived at the destination for two of my Intentions; "Live Your Passion for Life" & "Bring species into freedom." These intentions brought me into rescuing animals. After years of traveling as a "digital nomad," Universe placed me at the perfect location in California Wilderness — far away from the "normal" — to fulfill the vision for LifeSpider System™.
The world needs weird people like you. And if you are a parent or educator to a Weird One, I'll encourage you to do what it takes to support their weirdness because they need you!
I hope you'll find your sanctuary where you can fulfill your visions.
And as the point of departure is always from the now, it is possible to be Weird Enough to live your "Live Your Passion for Life."
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